


Beyond My Wildest Dreams

by multifandomgeek



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Branjie on the background, Fluff, M/M, Nina finds love, Romance, this is a Nina-centric fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-03-30 00:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19031446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifandomgeek/pseuds/multifandomgeek
Summary: Even though she knew being on the show would change her life forever, Nina could never be ready for all this. In between all the wonderful things she's been working on, there's a new hire on the Nina West Foundation, someone to help the foundation grow and ride the coattails of Nina's success.His name is Kevin, and maybe Nina has a crush on him. But that doesn't matter, they're coworkers. Besides, she has so much to do, no matter how kind and dreamy he is. He doesn't even like her back. Right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter. I don't promise any more branjie than what you're seeing, they're really in the background here. 
> 
> This is very much new for me, so any feedback is really appreciated ♥️

Nina was overwhelmed. She had so much going on it seemed like going on tour was actually getting in the way of things, as much as she tried not to think of it that way. There were the albums, the children’s projects, the charities, the music videos, the press, and that was only the official business. There were so many people contacting her to do the most amazing things; so many opportunities for her to shine, several great causes to help, amazing celebrities to collaborate with, great ideas to make happen, it was so much more than she could ever have hoped for. She wished she could just give up sleep so she would be able to do it all.

Her overeagerness was catching up to her, though, and she could feel her body ache and her mind working slower than usual as she walked around the party she was at today, smiling and talking to people, trying to be her usual cheery self while wishing her dress was lighter, or that her heels were shorter.

It was a charity event, that she was sure of, if only for the atmosphere of the place and the topics of the short conversations she was having with people. It was being held in a ballroom, and it looked very much like a regular party, only with a little bit more light and extra care on the content of the lyrics of the songs playing. But she couldn’t for the life of her tell in what city, nor the details of the organization they were helping or nothing of the sort. It made her feel bad, unprofessional even, and promise herself to rest, for crying out loud, before she put her foot on her mouth and disappointed all the people who were relying on her so fiercely right now.

She knew she was due to say a few words at some point before or after her performance later on, so she kindly detached herself from the conversation she was having to look for someone on her team to help her situate herself. She smiled and excused her way to her friend Jamie, who she spotted not too far from her. As Nina approached, Jamie noticed her and smiled broadly, giving a step back to welcome her into the circle of people she was talking to.

“Nina, this is Jessica and Kevin,” said Jamie, “they work here at the Boston Pride,” Boston, they were in Boston, right! “but Kevin is moving to Columbus soon, he’s gonna work at the foundation!” finished Jamie excitedly.

“Nice to meet you guys,” said Nina, shaking their hands, “what foundation are you going to work on?” she asked the Kevin guy, almost absentmindedly.

“Hmm.. your foundation,” he responded, looking confused. Nina blinked and looked at Jamie who was holding back a snort.

“Right!” said Nina, suddenly remembering they _did_ mean to hire a new guy, with the intention of growing the foundation’s reach now that she had so many more eyes on her. But it had been discussed and planned before so many things happened she completely forgot about it. Jesus, this was embarrassing. “I’m sorry, I have so many things in my mind right now, haha,” she laughed sheepishly, grateful for the makeup covering her blush as she took a better look at this Kevin who apparently was going to be working with her closely very soon.

He was positively dreamy, with light brown skin and green eyes that exuded kindness. The crow’s feet around them gave away how much he must laugh on a daily basis, and his trimmed dark beard made his smile look even brighter than it naturally was. Nina’s knees weakened a little when he directed it at her to let her know he took no offense on her forgetfulness. She stopped thinking about how he must look under his dress shirt when he started to excitedly tell her about his plans for the foundation, and his appearance became the least attractive thing about him.

\--

It had been two months since Kevin was officially working at the foundation and Nina had a massive crush on him. She had been in Columbus only a handful of times, but was keeping up with the work being done despite the distance. Kevin proved himself to be an efficient and caring person, very passionate about what he did but also with a great sense of reality, planning things very well. They had a few projects already on the way and Nina couldn’t wait until they were out in the open.

She was always finding excuses to talk with him, using work as a cover but actually ending up chatting about all sorts of mundane things. She kept telling herself she was a friendly person, and that this kind of interaction was good for their work dynamics, even as she found herself scrolling through his social media for no reason other than to look at his face, or telling him about funny things she encountered on her trips just to picture his smile.

Kevin loved Nina’s puns, and she was never at a shortage of them. Nina loved getting pictures of Kevin’s dogs at random, especially when there were videos to go with it. They didn’t correspond every day, but when they did it always brought a smile to Nina’s face, and it was starting to get the attention of the people around her.

The ones who traveled with her already knew, but kept quiet, because Nina liked to joke around about these things but was actually very sensitive about her feelings. But as she spent more time with her Drag Race sisters on tour, one of them in particular noticed Nina giggling to her phone like a teenage girl and didn’t stay quiet about it.

“You have a man!” accused Brooke Lynn, pointing her fork at Nina from across the table where they were having breakfast.

“What? No I don’t, what are you talking about?” said Nina putting her phone down, flustered.

“Why are you hiding it? Who is it?” said Brooke leaning forward conspiratorially.

“I do not have a man, Brooke,” responded Nina, but lowered her voice so they wouldn’t get the other queens’ attention. God knows the screaming fest that would be.

“Why don’t you wanna tell me?” asked Brooke, even more curious and maybe a little hurt, “Is it one of our sisters? Is it Vanjie?” she asked the last question with a gasp and wide eyes. “I mean, that would be fine, of course-”

“No, it’s not Vanjie!” Nina interrupted in a whisper-scream, exasperated. “And I’m not even gonna say anything about that reaction.”

“What about Vanjie?”, said Vanessa, smiling at them and squeezing herself between them on the two-person table.

“Nina has a man,” Brooke told her, smiling. Vanjie screamed, but she was always screaming and no one paid any mind. “But she doesn’t wanna tell.”

“Oh my God,” said Nina, hiding her face on her hands for a second. “I do not have a man! I was talking to a friend of mine in Columbus, Brooke saw me smiling at a joke he made and just assumed.”

“Uhum, uhum,” said Vanessa, “Show us some pictures of this friend of yours them. You know, for science.” Brooke snorted, and Nina complied, rolling her eyes, if only so this conversation could be over already. She put up his Instagram profile and handed her phone to Vanjie, who joined shoulders with Brooke so they could look together.

“He’s been working on the foundation for a couple of months, that’s all,” said Nina, because she couldn’t handle the silence and she was pretty sure she was blushing.

“He’s cute, go Nina,” said Brooke, pushing friendly at Nina’s arm.

“Look at them talking, he’s flirting with you, Mary!” said Vanjie, her fingers probing at Nina’s phone.

“Don’t look at my messages!” said Nina, promptly snatching the phone from her friend’s hands. “What do you mean he’s flirting with me?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“Why do you care, he’s just a friend, right?” responded Vanessa with a smug smile. Brooke giggled, the bitch.

“Fine, I may have a crush on him. He’s hot, what can I say,” she finally admitted, although it was only half truth. He was hot, yeah, Pretty fucking hot, but he was so much more than that, and Nina was scared of how much she actually liked him, of how much hope she was allowing herself to have as she listened to her friends encourage her.

“I only saw like five messages, but I think he likes you, mama,” said Vanessa, kindly. She wasn’t teasing anymore and Nina thought it was even worse.

“I mean, he would be dumb not to,” said Brooke. Nina smiled coyly at her, jokingly doing a false modesty gesture out of habit.

“Go for it, Nina,” shouted Vanessa.

“Make sure he asks your daddy for your hand first, though,” teased Brooke, making her laugh. They kept teasing and eventually moved on to other subjects, but the hope was already settled on Nina’s heart, as much as she tried to push it away, tried to remember past rejections, tried to put her mind back to work. Her phone buzzed, and it was Kevin replying to a request from her for a picture of one of his pit bulls to start her day, except he took a selfie with the dog, making a silly face at the camera.

She was so screwed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina is in Columbus for Pride. She sees Kevin on a meeting and they talk about a new idea for a project, and maybe have a little moment after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the super kind @alexandriabelle1 for being my first beta ever <3

Pride season had always been a busy time for Nina. Not only it was a time where the queer community came together stronger than usual, but it also brought the mainstream spotlight to their issues, every year more so than the previous, and Nina was gonna be damned if she didn’t take this opportunity to highlight important topics and engage people in important initiatives. 

This year, however, was absolutely crazy! Her popularity was insane, the projects she was doing barely one week in were already so successful she didn’t even know where to put how fucking grateful she was for all of this. She was in drag practically every day. She did parades in heels, talked to people, chanted political rhymes, performed in front of crowds bigger than she ever had before. Living her best life didn’t even begin to describe it. 

Somewhere in the middle of June, she was in Columbus (she wasn’t even gonna pretend she knew the date), glad to be home even though the workload there was bigger because of all the partnerships and projects pre-Drag Race. She had a meeting with the people from the Nina West Foundation today. They were gonna talk about the results of the videos they were releasing about the charities they worked with, and apparently Kevin had a briefing to present to Nina, a big idea that promised to use her fame to bring in big money. 

Nina would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous about seeing Kevin. She hadn’t seen him in person in a while, though they kept talking pretty frequently even with Nina as busy as she was. Brooke asked her about him now and then and fueled her hope that her feelings weren’t one-sided. It had been a cute fantasy to entertain in her head until now, but she felt incredibly self-conscious about seeing the man in person. She was sure she was going to embarrass herself some way or another, and her mind was already going from “maybe he’ll kiss me” to “what if he shows up with a boyfriend?” while she put way too much thought on what she was wearing while getting ready. 

The Foundation was more of an idea than an actual place, and for today they were using a meeting room in one of Nina’s friend’s office. The room had a big oval table with about a dozen chairs and a good structure for projections, conference calls, the sort of business things you could eventually need, but other than that it wasn’t especially fancy. Nina got there about 5 minutes earlier than necessary, opening the door to see Kevin already settled in, frowning in concentration while hunched down in front of his laptop. Nina smiled fondly and sighed, feeling like a teenage girl and basking in it. 

“Hey,” said Nina gently, managing to startle Kevin anyway. She chuckled. 

“Nina!” said Kevin with a wide smile, getting up and rounding the table to hug Nina tightly. God, he smelled so good. “Come here, come see the new project,” he said, pulling her to sit beside him by the computer, “Steven is gonna be a little late with the girls, and I’ll do the whole projection thing for everybody, but I can’t wait to show you,” he finished excitedly, fiddling with the touchpad to put up a powerpoint presentation. Nina caught herself staring at his face and promptly looked at the screen just as he started explaining.

The idea was definitely ambitious, almost arrogantly so, and call Nina crazy, but she thought they could make it happen. It would take time and a lot of behind the scenes preparations, they would need a few more extra hands to help with the technology aspect of it, and if that went wrong the whole thing would be a disaster. Even so, they could prepare well, have lots of backup plans. It definitely had a good chance to go right. She had seen what the fans could do, this could definitely happen! 

“We’ll need you fully on board with this, though,” said Kevin, looking at Nina expectantly, “You’re gonna have to be the one making calls and bringing the big people in. Without you, and without them, it doesn’t go anywhere.”

“Are you kidding me, of course I’m on board with it! I can already think of half a dozen people that would agree from the top of my head! And the fact that it’s all digital, I mean, just the schedule issues that would avoid... I even think we can top your initial numbers!” her mind was already planning schedules and making lists and rehearsing convincing speeches. 

“You’re amazing, Andrew,” said Kevin quietly. Nina looked up from the computer to see him staring at her with a sweet smile on the corner of his mouth. Her heart fluttered. 

“You are the amazing one. I could never think of something like this by myself,” responded Nina, reaching for his hand. She was in awe with this idea, it was genius! As if she needed another reason to like Kevin. 

They were staring at each other, and suddenly the excitement gave place to tension. Kevin squeezed Nina’s hand firmly, caressing the back of it lightly, sending shivers through Nina’s arm. She searched into his green eyes for any sign that she was reading this wrong, and found none. Nina licked her lips. She was gonna do it, she was gonna kiss him. 

Then, the door opened. 

Luckily, the group of people that entered the room was too engrossed in their own conversation to notice if they interrupted something. Kevin looked down and bit back an adorable shy smile, squeezing Nina’s hand one more time before letting it go. Nina just adjusted her seat to be a little further away from him, trying to force her mind back into focus when the only thing she wanted to think about was how the warm lips from the man beside her would taste. 

The meeting went on as planned. They discussed the foundation’s past month or so, their actions for Pride, and Kevin presented the new project by the end. He did it in a more structured and professional way than he did to Nina, which made her think he was comfortable around her, instigating a bubbly feeling in her chest. Everybody was excited about the idea, but the others were a bit more down to earth than Nina had been, and the rest of their time boiled down to planning and budgeting and building a timeline for it.

Nina had to leave before they finished in order to make it in time for a gig. It pained her to think that maybe if she had stayed, she and Kevin could have gone for coffee after the meeting and picked up where they left off, but she had no choice. Just the thought, however, that they had been that close to really kissing, that Kevin would kiss her back, touch her, that she would know for sure he liked her back, oh it was so nice. Plus, that project? If they really could pull it off, it could even become an annual thing! There was so much hope inside of Nina that the only thing she could do was share it away, and that made her go into the gig in full power, giving the public her all and leaving them with a sense of satisfaction she hadn't felt in a while. 

When her day finally ended, she was laughing with one of her local queen friends as they made their way to the dressing rooms. The club was still somewhat full despite the late hour, so when someone touched Nina’s arm to ask if she had time for one more fan, she was ready to turn away another drunk person politely until she met a pair of familiar green eyes, squished with a smile, and all but swooned.

“Kevin, hi,” said Nina, forgetting all about her friend, who took the clue and kept walking by herself. “What are you doing here? You don’t even like clubs.”

“I don’t, yeah,” he said, shrugging, “but I didn’t know when you were leaving again, so,” he finished, looking away shyly. Nina’s smile was so wide it was starting to ache. 

“I’m in town until Wednesday,” she said. “I like that you came here though, that’s very sweet. I may have a little free time tomorrow if you want to maybe grab a coffee with me,” she asked, touching the back of his hand with her knuckles. He was looking at her again with those eyes and she was getting drowned in them. “Or ice cream. I’m an ice cream now. I’m very delicious if I say so myself,” she said, touching her fluffy hair with playful pride. 

“I’d love to taste you,” said Kevin waggling his eyebrows, eliciting a full belly laugh from Nina. “Come here,” he said, pulling her by the hand and guiding her to the back of the stage. Nina went willingly, if confused. 

“What are you doing?” she asked, still laughing a little.

“I’m finding a step,” he said, climbing one of the few steps leading to the back of the stage. He turned to Nina and pulled her close, now barely an inch taller than her in her high heels. He touched her face, and her smile faltered. “You’re too tall in drag for me to do this like I wanted,” said Kevin, keeping one hand softly on Nina’s cheek while the other lifted her chin, barely, to place a soft kiss on her lips. 

Nina felt like a princess. Her eyes fluttered closed and her hands moved to his waist, steadying her as Kevin kissed and touched her like she was made of glass, a precious, soft thing. Nina was not a delicate man, nor a delicate woman, or a delicate drag-queen, and although she had loved and been loved many times in her life, she couldn’t recall ever being touched like that. It took her breath away. 

Kevin pulled back, all half-lidded and dreamy, still touching Nina’s face. She smiled closed-mouthed, feeling her insides all bubbly.

“You have my lipgloss all over your mouth now,” said Nina, chuckling. Kevin reached to clean the corner of his mouth, not tackling even 1% of the problem. Nina giggled, and tried to help him, but ended up just smearing the bright purple all over his juicy lips even more. He was trying to keep still but was also giggling. “Ok, that didn’t help at all. You look cute, though.”

“Hmmm I might as well get them dirtier them,” he said, leaning down to kiss Nina again. Her mouth closed against his tightly while her chest still shook with laughter, but it soon died down, especially when Kevin tilted his head and his hand traveled to her back to pull her closer. Nina was loving the softness, but she also loved the added pressure and the tease of the tongue. 

She was, however, still in drag. She couldn’t feel his chest against hers because of her fake boobs, some parts of her body were numb by now, and when his hand touched her neck it went too far and unbalanced her wig. She pulled back, resisting the urge to nuzzle him and get a little foundation to match his lipgloss. 

“I have to de-drag,” she said. He nodded. “Come with me so I can get a wipe for you. Unless you wanna rock the gloss, I mean…”

“I think it’ll work better if I apply directly from the bottle? Unless it’s a new trend I’m not aware of,” said Kevin, stepping down from the stage stairs to follow Nina to the dressing room. She forgot he was perched up there. It was funny.

“Who knows, the beauty gurus are full of surprises these days,” she opened the door and entered the room with Kevin right behind. She didn’t even think about the other queens undressing there, going directly to her things and looking for her wipes. Kevin followed hesitantly, trying to avert his gaze from the other people in various states of undress also in the room. “Don’t worry, they’re used to people coming and going,” said Nina, bringing the wipe to his mouth and cleaning it easily. She had to crouch, only remembering to take off her shoes after she was done. “There you go, no evidence of the crime now,” she said with a smile, throwing the wipe away and kicking her shoes to the side. 

“Can I help you with it?” he asked, pointing at the general direction of her stuff, taking Nina by surprise.

“Nah, I’m good, I do this every day,” she said dismissively.

“I know you don’t need it,” he said quietly, still wary of the other people around them. “I want to.” Nina was done, melted into a puddle on the floor. “But, I mean, I don’t wanna bother you, of course,” he said, flustered, like it occurred to him Nina might not want him there and he should leave immediately.

“Stay,” said Nina, grabbing his arm gently, her smile completely gone. Somehow, it made her feel vulnerable. Kevin smiled only with his eyes, which was maybe just as beautiful as the full-mouthed one. 

Nina turned around and asked for his help with her zipper. She wasn’t getting naked, there were quite a few layers until that, but the gesture made her feel like she was. As if her prom date was taking her gown off at the end of the night, and not as if the guy she liked was going to see her in a weird state of under-drag in a room full of other people. 

Once her dress was folded up and stored in her suitcase, she pulled up a stool for Kevin to sit behind her, instructing him on how to loosen up her corset while she took her wig and lashes off. They small talked while they did it, and Nina kept looking at his face in the mirror, the same frown of concentration she caught him with earlier on the day, creasing his forehead. She let him work on it for more than was strictly necessary, and once he was done with that there wasn’t much he could do except organize her things while she wiped her make-up away and pulled off her undergarments. She made sure he wouldn’t touch those, they didn’t need that level of gross-smells-intimacy just yet. He also turned away for the naked part of the process and pretended to fiddle with her brushes, which was a real gentleman move. 

Kevin did get to see Nina shirtless though, which almost made her say she deserved to see him shirtless too, but she bit it back. She caught him looking at the red marks left by drag with some kind of worry, and thought maybe he wanted to touch them but refrained to. She would have liked it if he did. 

It was different than having an assistant or a friend helping her out. There was a sense of calm and care she wasn’t used to, something warm and gentle that turned routine into affection. In the end, the process was over way sooner than Nina wanted it to be. 

It occurred to her, however, that now she could very well invite him over to her place, and that thought brought a whole new excitement with it. She hurriedly asked him to wait while she said goodbye to the queens and staff. 

“Now that’s the kind of trade I deserve, honey,” Nina heard a voice say while she made her way back to Kevin after properly talking to everybody. “Hot and useful? Where can I get a piece of that?”

“Nina’s a Ru girl now, baby, they bend over backwards for them,” responded another voice. It made Nina uneasy. She looked around but couldn’t pinpoint who said it. 

Kevin wasn’t just some trade, and he wasn’t helping Nina to get in her pants. He could get in her pants any time of day without lifting a finger. It bothered her that people saw a moment so tender and twisted it into something sexually-founded. He didn’t even care if she was a Ru-girl or not. Right? Ok, now she was getting paranoid. 

Kevin was leaning against the wall by the time she came back to him, looking down. He was close enough that Nina lost all hope he hadn’t heard the same comments she did. She didn’t know what to say about it. 

“You ready to go?” he asked with a smile when he noticed her close, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Nina nodded, getting her suitcase and following him to his car. He had promised her a ride home since he hadn’t drank, and she just had to let her friends know. They were silent, there was tension and not the good kind. 

Goddamnit.


	3. Chapter 3

Nina watched Kevin thinking the whole drive to her house. She let him work through it and hoped he would speak out about it, ask her whatever it was that was making him insecure, angry, sad, any of those feelings she could see flashing on his face. But he didn’t.

“I’m really glad you came to see me tonight,” said Nina as they parked by her door. He didn’t turn the car off. “It was a really nice surprise,” she had an uncharacteristically shy smile on her face. When Kevin turned to look at her, his expression softened and the corner of his mouth twitched in a weak smile. He twisted the ignition back and the car was dead.

“I’m glad I did too,” he said, softly.

“Are you okay?” asked Nina. She wanted so desperately to deny her sisters’ comments but she knew she had to hear him before she started to apologize for something that might not even be the issue. Kevin sighed.

“Yeah. Sorry if I seem a little spaced out, I’m just tired. It’s been a long day,” he was still smiling at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Nina felt her heart drop.

“I’m gonna get out of your hair then,” she said, unclipping her seatbelt. “Thanks for the ride.”

“That’s not-” he reached to touch her arm, stopping her from opening the door. “That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s okay,” said Nina, offering a small smile. “We’re still going for ice cream tomorrow, right?” she asked, he nodded in response. She caught his hand and ran her thumb through his knuckles. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Kevin leaned forward and kissed Nina, leaving that one hand on hers and bringing the other to caress her face, still with that same softness that had her in awe. She could almost feel his own thoughts holding him back, though, and she considered once again bringing it up to forcefully clean the air instead of giving him time to figure it out and bring it to her on his own. She decided to just kiss him some more, pour more care and less desire into it, in the hope he would feel what she couldn’t say yet.

They pulled back, breathless, and look at each other in silence for a moment.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Kevin, the pad of his thumb tracing Nina’s cheekbone, lingering there as if to show he didn’t really want her to go. She closed her eyes to feel it, but it was a fleeting moment, and soon she was grabbing her bags from the backseat and watching Kevin drive away from her kitchen window.

\--

Nina loved being recognized on the street. Truly, she did. It was still such an unreal experience, so hard to grasp how people could admire her so much, feel so strongly about her without even knowing her. She loved talking to people, it was her nature, and seeing how happy she could make strangers just by taking a picture or saying hi still felt like a superpower. Right now, however, as she found herself on the brink of letting herself fall in love for the first time in God knows how long, she could see why people might hate it.

It’s not like she was Julia Roberts or anything, but she and Kevin had been in a nice happy bubble, talking about the Big Project (they still needed a name) and just joking around while eating ice cream. It was perfect. Nina could feel he was working himself up to a serious conversation as he traced circles on the liquid remains of ice cream on his plate, but just as he took a breath and Nina braced herself, they got interrupted by a lovely teenage girl asking shyly for a picture. She was so cute and nice Nina couldn’t even be mad at her.

Kevin ended up going back to work, and although Nina had the day off, she ended up working too. She made a few calls, caught up on some things she couldn’t do on the road, kept busy some way or another. Her anxiety was threatening to go mad if she let her mind slip. At the end of the day, however, she had some friends over and let herself be for a few hours.

“We kissed!” she told Virginia over a glass of… well, she didn’t really know but it was sweet and alcoholic, and she liked it.

“Look at you, blushing like a 16-year-old!” responded Virginia playfully. “Well, honey you deserve it! He’s so dreamy, too!”

“I know!” exclaimed Nina, “those eyes, ugh!”

“Yeah, the eyes! That’s what I was talking about, sure,” said Virginia taking a long sip of her drink, making Nina laugh.

“I can tell he’s bothered, though, after the girls’ comments on race-chasers and all,” said Nina. Virginia already knew the full story, Nina having given the details in a long text message earlier in the day.

“Maybe he’s thinking he’s just another piece of trade for you,” she suggested.

“You think? He oughta know he isn’t, I mean, we talk almost every day.”

“That doesn’t mean anything, honey, fucking your friends is nothing new. Besides, you could be texting him with one hand and picking up the trade with the other. You’re a good multitasker.”

Nina considered this. It was true she never talked about men with Kevin, and it was a very conscious choice. She wasn’t a prude, and being a fan-favorite had its advantages, but she was well aware of what that kind of thing could do to a relationship. I mean, just look at Brooke and Vanjie.

But Nina, unlike her friends, was not new at this. She wasn’t scared of commitment, and she took pride in being a good communicator. She wasn’t going to shy away from exposing her feelings if it meant something good could come out of it. The question was, would Kevin? Was that even the real issue? She didn’t even know if commitment what he wanted, after all.

“I know you, Nina,” said Virginia, “if this was a friend it would be fixed already. You’re scared he’ll like you less if you just get up there and make him talk about it. He won’t. And if he does, well, that means he’s a dick and you should fuck him just once.”

“Just once?” asked Nina, already laughing.

“The man is hot as hell, what can I say, I still want the best for you!”

\--

Kevin worked from home. He had a full office space, but it would be incredibly easier to find an excuse to show up and knock on the door of a regular office than it was to do in a home office. Not that Nina didn’t have one, she had a few names and important info for the Big Project she legitimately had to deliver to him. Not that she couldn’t do it by e-mail or phone, but still.

 _I’m gonna have to get up there and say I’ve got feelings for him, what is this, a romcom?_ she thought as she climbed up the stairs of his porch. _What if I’m reading it completely wrong? God, I would feel humiliated!_ She rang the doorbell, heart pounding, anxiety rolling free, _Maybe he doesn’t even like me that way. We did kiss though. God, what a kisser he is! But kissing doesn’t mean loving._ Nina heard the dogs bark somewhere inside the house. _How will I even start this conversation? Maybe I should just leave the talking for another day, just let it go for now. Yeah, let it go, let it goooo..._

“Are you singing Frozen?” asked Kevin with a sideways smile, still holding the door he just opened. Nina blushed.

“Yes I am,” she said. “Don’t you know me?” she made a face as if saying “duh!”.

“Good point,” said Kevin, “come in,” he gestured, guiding her to his office just left on the hallway. Nina entered and was immediately overwhelmed by the smell of him surrounding her everywhere. Kevin sat on his desk and gestured for Nina to sit on the chair on the opposite side of it. Good, a physical barrier, that would be useful.

“So, I called Sasha and Bob yesterday, because I know they are insanely busy and I wanted to do my best so they would be a part of it,” Nina started right off the bat. She was nervous, talking business helped. “Anyway, I explained the whole thing to them and both agreed, I brought the contacts for you to phone and arrange-”

“What do you mean they agreed?” interrupted Kevin wide-eyed.

“It means they’ll do it,” said Nina. Was that a trick question?

“Oh my God, Andrew! That’s incredible!” he exclaimed, leaning forward on the table. “It’s been one freaking day and we have two winners already?!” he jumped from his seat to run around his table and hug Nina fiercely. So much for the physical barrier.

“Two, it’s been two days,” she said coyly, smiling as she hugged him back. It occurred to her that when they kissed, she hadn’t felt his body against hers like this, because of the drag or because they were in the car. That didn’t help her be less nervous at all.

“Oh shut up with the humility, miss congeniality,” he said pulling back with the biggest smile. She chuckled and resisted the urge to lean forward and kiss him.

But he didn’t, pulling her by the neck and planting his lips on hers. Nina closed her eyes, almost melted into it, almost let the hands that were still on his hips slide to his back to pull him closer. Instead, she pulled back. His eyes were half-lidded, and she caressed the side of his face.

“I care about you,” said Nina. Her heart was pounding like crazy. “I don’t want to travel without knowing what this means to you,” she rested her forehead against his. Looking into his eyes was becoming too much. “And I know you’re upset about something, please tell me what it is,” she felt him nod against her.

They sat down, in front of each other on the same side of Kevin’s desk. He kept one of Nina’s hands hostage, tracing the outer lines of her nails one by one as he talked, looking at them instead of Nina’s face.

“I overheard your friends talking about how guys just bend over backwards for the girls that have been on the show,” he said. _I knew it,_ Nina thought, “I guess I forgot about that part of you being famous,” he let out a sad chuckle, “you can have anyone, anywhere. And I’m just a guy who works too much and doesn’t like clubs. I just- I’m not upset, I just realized that even if you like me back it’s not gonna be easy. And that you can find someone better just like that,” he snapped his fingers.

“I do like you,” said Nina. “You’re amazing. Smart and funny and kind. You’re not just some guy, not to me. I mean, look at this project, nobody ever did something like that. _You_ did it, you came up with it, you’re the one that’s gonna make it work! You’re special, Kevin. More important than that, you’re special to me,” he finally looked up at her. She couldn’t even fathom she was having to tell this man he was enough for her. “And I’m glad you don’t like clubs, ‘cause if you were out there for the taking, I wouldn’t have the slightest chance!”

He laughed, and it was like the whole room lit up.

“So, hm… what’s the dating policy on the Nina West Foundation?”, asked Kevin, licking his lips and smiling sideways, leaning forward in his chair and rolling it slowly towards Nina.

“Completely open,” she said, leaning forward too, eyes transfixed on his mouth, “I would even say we encourage it.”

“Oh really?” he said chuckling. Their faces were inches apart now, both unable to keep from smiling. “Wanna be my boyfriend then?”

It sounded so middle-school she couldn’t help but giggle.

“Yes,” responded Nina softly, already halfway into the kiss.

Home offices were amazing. The journey to Kevin’s bedroom took seconds, and Nina soon found out he was a gentle, caring lover capable of making her feel like the hottest fucking person on the planet while being the hottest fucking person on the planet himself. She would’ve gladly stayed on his bed forever had her phone not reminded her she had to start getting in drag about 10 minutes ago.

\--

“Nina’s weird today,” Brooke slumped down on a stool right beside Vanessa to conspire with her without taking her eyes off Nina, who was putting on her wig by the other side of the room.

“What do you mean?” said Vanjie, turning around to look, “she looks normal to me, just, you know, Nina.”

“I don’t know, she’s… too happy,” said Brooke, frowning. Vanessa looked at her as if she had said she didn’t look good today or something.

“It’s Nina,” said Vanessa like it conveyed everything you possibly needed to know.

“Just watch,” said Brooke, looking at Vanjie pointedly. She got up and walked to Nina, crouching in front of her suitcase and taking her outfit for the night out of it. “Hey, Nina, I think your dress is ripped,” she said, casually. Vanjie lifted her eyebrows. That was mean of her, it was not funny to make Nina freak out just for laughs.

“Really?” said Nina completely calm, not even turning her gaze from where she was gluing her wig to look, to Vanessa’s utter shock. “I have a sewing kit on my bag, I’ll see if I can fix it. Thanks!”

“Oh, never mind, it was just a trick of the light,” said Brooke, putting the dress back on its place and smiling.

“That’s a relief!” said Nina with a chuckle. Brooke looked at Vanessa, whose eyebrows were up in her hairline.

“Oooh, Bitch, we’re getting to the bottom of this!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you writworm for betaing these last two chapters, and thank you Meggie, pinkgrapefruit, and Dane for all the encouragement to finish this, I really needed it and couldn't have done without it.

Nina is known for being kind. The Miss Congeniality of all Miss Congenialities, people have been saying. Not that she would ever acknowledge that and discredit the title of the queens that came before her and are just as amazing and kind and important as her, if not more. But she loves it, and sometimes has to check in to make sure she’s not getting a little cocky about it.

Of course, she can be shady too, if she’s not too worried about the public eye. Especially a few drinks in and with a couple of minutes to think about it. She can also be mean and resentful when she’s hurt like any other human being on this planet. But that’s part of her as a person, not her as a brand, and people don’t see it that often. Which is good, if a little scary. After all, even if she’s loud and clear about not being perfect, sometimes it seems like people see her that way, and that’s just too much pressure to keep up with.

But that’s a thought for another day. Today, as she pretends not to see Vanjie and Brooke with their heads together whispering in the corner of their shared dressing room, Nina tucks a triumphant smile on the corner of her mouth and doesn’t think about being kind at all.

She’s playing with them, pretending to have a secret that’s not really a secret so much as something she wants to shout from the rooftops. She’s acting that way to have a bargaining chip. Maybe that’s not the best way to treat your friends but she couldn’t help herself, but it’s way too much fun.

The bargaining thing came as an idea to have both Brooke and Vanjie’s collaboration on the Big Project (that still doesn’t have a name). Kevin had mentioned how much buzz it would generate if they could have them _together_ , not only at the same time but at the same place. He had said it as a passing thought, but Nina was well aware of the power of the thirsty fans and her gears were already working on making that happen.

Of course, making money while playing with your friends’ feelings was more than morally questionable, but it was for charity. Besides, she had a feeling they were still fucking on the side, maybe when the alcohol was running high or maybe even when they were both dead sober, and she wanted in on that secret. So it was a matter of hitting two birds with one stone. Two lovesick birds, to be precise.

In any case, the project wouldn’t be happening for a while, at least by the end of the year. She didn’t really know exactly, Kevin had the schedule. Nina was sure Brooke and Vanjie could sort their shit until there, or at least brace themselves to have a friendly interaction about their past relationship by then. In any case, having that exclusive content could be the key to a huge bump on Nina’s audience, and even if Brooke and Vanjie months from now would be fine with that, she needed Brooke and Vanjie from right now to sign the deal.

Honestly, though, she didn’t think it would be that easy to play with them. She didn’t even have a plan, just the fact she was acting a little more cheerfully than usual and maybe got away to call Kevin so nobody would pry on their conversation earlier in the evening already had Brooke all curious and frustrated that Nina wouldn’t say anything. Next thing she knew, she was conspiring with Vanjie about it.

Nina liked seeing them liked this. Fucking or not, the relationship they had now was way better than the official one they had before. They were too intense back then, now they were lighter and laughed more. It was refreshing.

After they all performed and de-dragged, they found themselves waiting outside of the club for a van to take them to their hotel. They were a big group, with assistants, local queens, staff, and friends waiting with them to catch a ride too or just to milk their time with the Ru girls until the very last minute. Vanessa was chatting with a group of people, her voice always the loudest. Brooke was having a cigarette and listening to another queen.

Nina had been talking with everybody, but she decided to pull a little stunt. Vanjie would catch an early flight she didn’t know when she would have the chance to talk to both of them again. She excused herself pointing to her phone and took a few steps outside of the group. She called Kevin but acted like she was answering a call, making sure to be right at the line of sight from both Brooke and Vanjie.

 _“Hey, baby, are you done with work?”_ asked Kevin in a sleepy voice. They had been officially dating a little over a month, and the pet names still got to Nina every time.

“Yeah, did I wake you?” she said, keeping her voice down but not hiding the foolish expressions that must be coming to her face.

 _“No, not at all,”_ lied Kevin, _“I miss you.”_

“I miss you too,” said Nina sighing. “Listen, if I start to sound crazy all of a sudden it’s because I’m trying to fool Brooke,” she said hurriedly. She noticed on the corner of her eye that Brooke perked her neck at her and was making her way to Vanjie. Nina kept talking, not reacting.

Kevin chuckled on the phone. _“I love this mysterious boyfriend schtick, it’s so Disney Channel.”_

“Very on brand for me,” said Nina, chuckling too. She noticed two people coming closer to her and schooled her posture not to change. “I can’t though, I don’t want them to know,” she said seriously to the phone, despite Kevin’s laughter on the other side. She paused for effect. “I know, I’m sorry, but I think it’s too much for them right now,” she continued in an apologetical tone, “they pretend to be fine but they’re really sensitive people! I don’t wanna hurt them!” She turned as she talked so she would have her back turned at the two queens, who were now so close Nina was sure they could hear her even if she whispered. She sighed dramatically. “I won’t, I’m sorry but I won’t, not until they prove to me that they’re fine. Besides, if they’re keeping secrets from me why can’t I keep secrets from them?” she finished with a little bit more truth than she meant.

 _“Ooh, I think you forgot you were pretending, there,”_ said Kevin, still laughing.

“Shut up,” said Nina, not able to contain a chuckle herself. “Anyway, I-” She turned then, jumping slightly at seeing Brooke and Vanjie behind her, keeping up with the act. “I’ll talk to you later,” she said to the phone.

 _“Ok, bye,”_ said Kevin, knowing what it probably meant and disconnecting.

“Hey guys,” said Nina with an adorable smile. She was having so much fun. “Why are you creeping up on me?”

“Why are you sneaking around and keeping secrets is what’s really the question,” said Brooke, crossing her arms and squinting.

“It doesn’t seem like much of a secret to me,” said Vanjie. She clearly wasn’t taking it so seriously, probably treating it like a game, something fun to pass the time with friends rather than a mystery or a friendship-issue like Brooke. “Nina has a boyfriend,” she said matter-of-factly, putting a hand on her hip.

“Why don’t you just say so, then?” asked Brooke, turning to Vanessa.

“Didn’t you hear her? She thinks we can’t handle it because of our own drama with each other,” said Vanjie.

“That’s stupid,” dismissed Brooke.

“What did you just call me?” said Vanjie.

“What? No! I-” Brooke fumbled to apologized.

“I’m just playing with you,” said Vanessa, immediately smiling wide and giving the blonde a playful push. Brooke rolled her eyes and smiled too.

Nina was just watching them like a tennis match. She had to make a move, though, or it would all be in vain. “I’ll tell you if you promise to be part of a project I’m putting together,” she challenged.

“Deal,” said Brooke immediately.

“Ah, ah, it has to be the two of you, together,” said Nina, pointing at them.

Vanjie looked at her suspiciously. “Why do you have to trick us into it?” she said, now with both hands on her hips, “is it porn?” she asked with a gasp.

“What?” Nina yelled, laughing loudly. “Who do you think I am?”

“Well is it?” asked Brooke.

“No! Jesus! It’s just a regular livestream, a youtube livestream! I’ll explain it to you better, but it’s a huge project we’re putting together for charity. It would be an hour-ish live with fans making questions and stuff, you can do whatever you want, do each other’s make-up, something like that. But if we can have you two in the same room, we all know the audience would be crazy.”

“How do you make money from that?” asked Brooke.

“It’s gonna be an event, you would be promoting some exclusive merch we’ll be selling, and also there would be a few things you would use just so we could sell later, like shirts, props, stuff like that. We’ll sell the live itself too, the video file in HD,” Nina was trying to checklist all the things that went into it as she talked. “Also, there’s gonna be a place for donations and the super chats, where people pay to have their questions more visible so they make sure you answer them. You can also sign things or make things if you want, like painting or customize stuff, that’s up to you, whatever it is it becomes a collectible and people want to buy it. I don’t know if I’m forgetting something, I can send you an email with the details, but that’s basically it.”

“What if they ask us to do something we don’t want to?” said Vanjie.

“You don’t. It’s just a live, not slavery,” responded Nina.

“It doesn’t sound that bad,” said Vanjie, considering, “I mean, we could probably just stand there and talk about tacos and people would already be going nuts, the crazy motherfuckers. We’re in!” She declared with finality.

“What, I don’t get an opinion?” said Brooke.

“You already agreed before she even told you what it was,” said Vanessa laughing.

“I was going to agree too, just to be clear,” said Brooke, “You didn’t have to play games to get us into it, Nina.”

“Thanks, guys!” said Nina, hugging them. “I know I didn’t, but it was so funny!” she said, apologetically, earning a eye-roll from Brooke and a scream from Vanessa.

“Well, what is it then, spill it,” said Brooke, excited.

“Yeah, what’s the T, mama?” said Vanjie.

“I have a boyfriend,” said Nina, shrugging and giggling. Vanessa threw her arms into the air and walked around, making the two of them burst into laughter.

“Call me Vanessa motherfucking Holmes!” she shouted.

“Who is it?” asked Brooke, but Nina didn’t have time to tell, they were called to head inside the Van. She ended up talking about Kevin already in Vanjie’s hotel room while she packed for her early flight. Brooke was surprised to learn that it was the same guy they had talked about months ago, while Vanessa said she already suspected so. The ended up waking Kevin up again so the two of them could harass him through facetime.

Nina was so happy she didn’t even remember she wanted to ask about the status of Brooke and Vanjie’s relationship. She supposed it didn’t really matter, after all. She really felt like they were happy, and maybe it wouldn’t be very congenial of her to be another person probing them about it, they certainly had enough of those. She wanted them together for the project because it would be better for the project, it was a capitalist’s decision.

As a friend, she wanted them to be okay, to be successful, to be happy, to be whatever they wanted to be, individually and separately first and foremost. She couldn’t help but root for their love when she saw them interacting, but that could remain safely hidden inside her head. She had her own love story now, anyway. Her own little compilation of moments and kisses and smiles to go through and think about in her free time.

Now that pride was over, work should get little less intense, and her days at home a little more frequent. She was looking forward to that, for more than one reason, but for one more than the others. A nice and steamy green-eyed reason.

_Andrew: Jamie says I’ll be in Columbus next Monday!_

_Kevin: Don’t tell anyone but I have your schedule printed on my fridge <3_

The three little words Nina felt like saying next would have to wait to be said in person.


	5. Chapter 5

Nina’s house looked like the headquarters of a bank robber from an action movie. There were cables everywhere, her dinner table was currently supporting two big monitors connected to a laptop where there was a guy sitting down looking at so many things at once it was actually dizzying. On her couch, there were more people on laptops, and a few more desks were placed around temporarily. 

The Big Project, now properly named Queens for Queers, had officially started 10 hours ago, though this set-up had been going on for a lot longer than that. There was a website up with all the information on the project. They had managed to partner up with some of the biggest LGBTQIA+ non-profit organization on the country plus a few international ones, and they were all listed with information on their work plus links to their own websites. Nina had done background checks on them personally, it was of the utmost importance that no corrupt or questionable organization was linked to this. 

All the Drag Queens you could possibly know or follow on social media were talking about this, even if they weren’t participating directly on the project or didn’t help with the marketing campaign from the previous months. Queer celebrities and even a few mainstream ones were also helping spread the word spontaneously, making huge donations themselves. It was incredible. 

When you visited the website, the first thing you saw was the donation button. Anyone could donate whatever amount they wanted, through any kind of card (debit, credit, international), and a couple of digital payments options also. That was a huge deal for international fans, Nina found, and had been a great idea not that hard to pull through. Under that, there was the ever-running number of dollars already raised, coupled with the name/alias of the last person who donated or purchased anything not anonymously. 

Then, you would see the digital products. All the lives the queens were making were being recorded in HD and would be available for purchase. A few queens were also making special exclusive episodes of their podcasts for the project, some even making Q&As with only questions from buyers. There was Shangela’s podcast, Katya’s, Willam and Alaska’s, Bob and Monét’s, Dragcast, of course, and a few other popular Drag Race-centered pods. Trixie and Katya offered an exclusive episode of Unhhh with the same editors that would be called “This is totally a different show” for copyright reasons, which was really a money maker, Nina was considering upping the price of that one. Any of the digital products cost 15 dollars each, or you could have them all for $75. It was unlimited supply with a fixed cost and no shipping, really a nice, digital-era way of selling stuff. They would be delivered until pride and were being purchased in buckets by people all over the world, it was insane! 

After that, you would see the merch. They had commissioned and in some cases had the works made for free from the best fan-artists known in the Drag Race fandom, and they were all printed on shirts, mugs, and posters ready to ship. All proceeds went to the project, but all credits were linked to the artists. Cheyne Gallard’s one was Nina’s personal favorite, and she was actually wearing it as she made sure if anybody needed anything while they worked. 

Then, there were the lives’ tokens. The project would run for 24 hours, each hour had a live stream with a queen, some with two or three, like the Branjie one. Each queen was instructed to have a few things they could sell ready to be shown. Most of them had dug up some outfits they didn’t use anymore, some signed a few things. Katya promised to lick a few in her upcoming lives, and Nina had to tell her that no, she couldn’t fuck herself with anything and then sell it for charity, no matter how much more money it would make. Kevin made her sign a contract saying she wouldn’t, just in case.

Right now, Silky was live. She was driving around Los Angeles making every single person she knew sign the shirt she was wearing, which was obviously big enough to hold a lot of autographs, and Silky knew a lot of people. It was genius, people were already auctioning it on the website and the price was jaw-dropping. It was threatening to surpass Brooke’s red hoodie, which Vanjie convinced her to sell in their predictably most viewed live so far. Nina sat on her bed to watch it nervously, but her laptop got closed before she could really see anything. 

“You need to calm down,” said Kevin, taking the device away from her and putting it on the nightstand with one hand while the other held a mug. “Finn is taking care of everything, we’re at a shouting distance, everything is going smoothly,” he said, climbing on the bed with her and sitting in front of her, handing her the mug. “I made you some nice, creamy cocoa,” he kissed her cheek, “so you can forget about numbers and internet connections for a second or you’ll have a migraine before this is even halfway done.”

“I love you so much,” said Nina, leaning to kiss Kevin on the lips after tasting the deliciously sweet cocoa. “Also, I noticed you locked the door?” she asked with a grin.

“I didn’t know if I would have to resort to extreme measures to make you relax, what can I say?” he said, smiling as he kissed her again. Nina put the mug away so she could kiss him deeply and pull him to lay down with her. She wouldn’t let it go too far (probably), but a little make-out session couldn’t hurt. She let out a low grunt as he licked into her mouth. Even after more than a year together, his soft touches mixed with passion still had her in awe. 

“Oh my God, Nina!” came a shout, followed by a thug on the door, “bitch, is this locked?” Jamie’s voice could be heard as the doorknob rattled. 

“Ugh,” grunted Kevin, falling on the bed on his back. Nina chuckled, giving him a short peck before getting up to open the door for her friend.

“What’s up, Jamie?” asked Nina.

“Remember when we said Ru must still be asleep?” said Jamie, barging into the bedroom and sitting on the edge of the bed with her laptop open. The project had started at midnight, and the lack of any manifestation from the biggest Queen of all had them jokingly saying she must still be asleep. Nina didn’t think much about it, really. Ru didn’t meddle with her children’s project, it was her MO. “She fucking woke up!”

Nina sat down and leaned into Jamie’s shoulder to look at her screen. Kevin did the same at her other side and both had their jaw dropped as soon as they spotted the number that indicated the amount of money they had already raised, right at the center of the Queens for Queers website.

“ONE MILLION DOLLARS?” Nina screamed. The last time she checked, they were at a very uplifting 400 thousand, still counting, and she was very happy with it. It was already more than she was hoping for, more than enough to account for the costs and then some, which was always the main goal. 

“Mama Ru saw the thing and said, I’m gonna round it up for my girl Nina,” said Jamie laughing. She put her laptop on the bed and shook Nina a little, who was still frozen in her shocked expression. “She did it, Nina! For you!”

“One million fucking dollars,” she said again, looking at Jamie. “One million, Jamie!” she started laughing and hugged her. 

“We’re not even halfway,” murmured Kevin from the other side, both hands on the side of his own face and looking like he was on the verge of crying. “Guys, that’s so much money,” he said, like he just realized it. 

Jamie looked at him like she just now noticed he was there. “Oh, right, that’s why the door was locked! Sorry!” She said, suddenly picking her computer up. She hugged Nina one more time, they were both smiling as wide as they possibly could. 

“One million,” said Nina again, giving little jumps of joy. 

Jamie closed the door as she left, and Nina twisted the lock, promptly jumping at Kevin, tackling him to the bed and making him scream-laugh, startled. She kissed him all over his face, this wonderful man who she was so lucky to meet, so lucky to fall in love with, with whom she could share one of the biggest joys of her life right now. Who had made it happen, together with her.

“I love you so fucking much,” said Kevin, burying his face in Nina’s neck.

“One million dollars!” said Nina as if she was physically unable to say anything else. It didn’t matter, he knew. He laughed as she kissed him, kissing back just as fiercely. 

The door was locked; they were going to celebrate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The project on this fic is heavily inspired by the Project for Awesome. I think if somebody could pull something like this off, it would be Nina, and I think she really is capable of using the potential of the Drag Race fandom for good causes. I hope she steals this idea some day. 
> 
> I hope you have enjoyed this fic, it was wonderful to create a character just so I could give Nina all the love she deserves. <3

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the Little Mermaid, 'cause Nina ♥️♥️♥️
> 
> Leave a comment, it makes me happy :)


End file.
